"Unengaged to Ally, Advocate to "Sister": Part One"

This course examines vectors of privilege, the unhelpful histories and cultural norms, and even how science and pseudo-science can contribute to bias and discrimination. If we take the time to discard biases and de-center dominant culture norms, we might just change ourselves — and help change our society and world.

1. Introduction: Why We Gather

We will start the course with a quick introduction and setting/stating of purpose. You will also learn about how this course relates to Brave Sis Project’s overall work and mission.

• Set expectations and intentions for your journey
• Understand the purpose of the Playbook and the spirit of growth and accountability.
• Meet Brave Sis Project and learn what to expect in this community

2. Looking at Emotions, Motivations, and How We Got Here

To do this work well, we must start with ourselves. We’ll look at the fears, desires, and deep questions that shape our willingness to show up, take risks, and move past comfort zones. Together, we’ll acknowledge how personal stories and historical context impact our present-day connections.

• Explore the emotional landscape that surfaces when engaging across lines of color and culture
• Examine motivations—both conscious and unconscious—for seeking change, connection, or allyship.
• Trace the familial, communal, and personal roots that have shaped our positions and responses

3. Privilege and Position: Naming and Navigating

Privilege is not an accusation, but an invitation to awareness and action. We’ll interrogate “invisible knapsacks,” map our identities, and openly explore the impact of unearned advantage and structural power in our relationships. In this section, we will:

• Explored a shared understanding and definition of privilege and positionality.
• Learn to identify where you hold power and where you experience marginalization.
• Practice tools for navigating conversations about privilege without shame or defensiveness.

4. Interrogating Monoculture: Challenging the “Default”

What gets called “professional,” “safe,” or even “friendly” in majority-white spaces often reflects a narrow, dominant culture lens. We’ll name these patterns, understand their origins, and begin practicing new forms of community that honor difference. We will:

• Define monoculture and its impact on belonging and exclusion.
• Reflect on how “normal” is constructed, reinforced, and policed within organizations, communities, and society.
• Develop strategies for disrupting monocultural norms and making room for multiple ways of being.

5. Moving Past Comfort and Toxic "Niceness"

In the face of restricting dominant-culture norms, being “nice” too often prioritizes comfort over honesty—and it keeps us stuck and in conflict. This section shows ways to embrace compassionate candor. We’ll explore tools and scripts for raising difficult topics, apologizing when needed, and fostering real growth in your circles. Let’s…

• Unpack how “niceness” can undermine trust, honesty, and sustainable progress.
• Contrast “being nice” with “being kind,” “being real,” and “being accountable.”
• Learn approaches to handle conflict, give/receive feedback, and practice truth-telling with care.

6. Deconstructing Fetishization: Respect Over Objectification

Far too many well-intentioned interactions still carry subtle and overt forms of objectification. We’ll break down what fetishization looks like, discuss the harm it causes, and offer pathways toward real respect and allyship.

• Identify ways that women of color are often exoticized, tokenized, or fetishized in predominantly white settings.
• Learn to recognize, challenge, and unlearn these patterns—in ourselves and in others.
• Center practices and language that foster respect, dignity, and authentic relationship.
  
  

Course Two: Sustaining Change, Deepening Learning, Leadership, and Liberation

This advanced section is for anyone who has engaged with the basics and is now ready to:

• Lead change in organizations, communities, or families
• Model collaboration and allyship that shifts cultures, not just conversations

Build lasting relationships rooted in accountability, transparency, and shared liberation

1.    Dismiss Tone Policing and Stereotyping

Tone-policing—a lingering feature of white feminism—occurs when someone critiques how a message is delivered, focusing on emotion or attitude instead of substance. This derails real conversations, silences marginalized voices, and pressures especially women of color to hide their genuine feelings. The result is reinforced exclusion and persistent power imbalances. To unpack this, we will:

• Name and interrupt patterns of tone policing and stereotyping, especially in response to discomfort, anger, or pain from women of color
• Recognize how dismissing lived experience through language deepens wounds and blocks progress
• Practice habits for listening openly to authentic stories—even when the truth is uncomfortable

2.   Power: Understand It, Interrogate It, Shift It

A power imbalance means that one group holds more influence, resources, or control than another, often leading to unfair advantages. In the U.S., social structures privilege whiteness, creating systemic disparities along racial lines. White feminism has often replicated these patterns by prioritizing the needs of white women over women of color. This perpetuates inequality within both society and feminist movements. We will examine some “power plays”:

• Identify how power operates in daily life, conversations, and decisions—structurally and interpersonally
• Examine who gets heard, who makes the rules, and why those dynamics matter
• Explore ways to interrogate power and dismantle it, expanding space for marginalized voices, dismantling old hierarchies, and putting those most impacted by an issue at the center of designing the solutions

3.   Abandon Your White Savior Complex

The white savior complex is when white people position themselves as helpers or leaders for communities of color, centering their own role and ignoring local voices. In global development, this means outsiders drive projects without true collaboration. In daily life, especially with white women in charge, it shows up as speaking for or making decisions on behalf of people of color. This keeps power imbalanced and stifles genuine partnership. One of the most subtle offenses, we will examine it closely in society, philanthropy, and history:

• Confront and move beyond histories and habits of dominance that underpin the “white savior” mindset
• Replace performative allyship with humility and accountability

Learn how to co-create change with partners across difference—grounded in respect and real collaboration

4.   Trash the Tokenism

Tokenism is when organizations or groups showcase people from underrepresented groups just for appearances or to avoid criticism, rather than truly sharing power, enabling agency, or valuing diverse perspectives. Tokenism disrespects true diversity because it is not accompanied by culture change. The result is isolation and no real progress toward equity. We will explore this issue:

• Detect and replace tokenism with genuine, equity-driven inclusion
• Invite presence, voice, and leadership—not just visibility
• Build organizational cultures where representation supports lasting change and true safety

5.   History out of Hiding

Ignoring historical relativism—overlooking the context and realities that shaped racial and cultural inequity—makes it easy to excuse today’s disparities as accidental or deserved. This erasure fuels cultural harm, reinforcing stereotypes and misunderstandings about marginalized communities. Only by honestly acknowledging history can we disrupt injustice and move toward true equity. Let’s look at a few surprising examples in order to open your eyes to more:

• Engage with the real history behind our divisions—not to assign blame, but to build context and wisdom
• Understand how selective memory and bans on honest teaching undermine collective trust

Lay the groundwork for community healing through shared truth and historical understanding

6.   The Heartbreak of Over-Intellectualizing

Over-intellectualizing and cognitive distancing—common habits among white progressives—leads to abstract analysis of racism without emotional engagement or meaningful action. While a safe butter from discomfort, it ultimately perpetuates injustice by prioritizing discussion over change. We’ll discuss this topic and explore ways to being moving beyond theory to genuine connection and accountability:

• Recognize when analysis and endless discussion block action and connection
• Return to heart-centered engagement—building transformation through lived experience

Move from knowing to doing, turning theory into real change, and prioritizing emotional and embodied realities over abstraction